January 3, 2011

On Drug Addiction and Recovery:

I sat with a young lady this some time ago who talked about how she first was introduced to drugs.  Over the years I thought I had heard it all.  And really I think I have, or at least some type of variation of " heard it all."   But this girl was a little different.  It was not the drug use that amazed me but how fast she went from good family girl to strung out cocaine addict.  It made me realize that as people we must hold constant vigil over our conduct and ourselves because we never know when something might take hold that will alter our world dramatically.

She was only 19 when she was invited to go to an after work party with some friends.  At the party was a wealthy and charming man of 45 years.  He invited her to "party" with her and she then experienced her first cocaine high.  In fact, she told me this was the first high of any type she had ever had.  The next six months were an absolutely blur to her.  She moved in with the man and would spend literally 15 hours a day in a constant party mode with this man.  The details here are unimportant but nonetheless uncomfortable for any parent to imagine.

She talked about insecurities she had felt since she was young and how this man made her feel important and beautiful.  Perhaps he did, but the defense attorney in me thinks otherwise.  Now this is not a tale of him or her days of drug use but rather something much more hopeful.  Because what happened next taught me a great lesson about true love and the power of the soul.

This young lady and her family came to me for help because she had been charged with a serious crime.  While I was sad for her arrest, I did see it as an opportunity to help her change.  With the help of her father we convinced her that for at least a few weeks she should move back home and “rest.”  Amazingly the new boyfriend neither offered to help nor ever showed up again to try and convince her to return.  This made the job of recovery easier.

We went to court together and I began to work through her case in the hopes that she could get a good drug program and start her road to recovery.  However, she just wanted to remain at home with her family.  Usually this is a bad idea.   I see it as an excuse to keep using and fool the people who love you the most.   She agreed to wear a drug patch that would monitor her daily for any type of drug use.   Days turned into weeks and weeks to month.  She never tested positive again for any type of drug.  Nothing. 

At first I suspected fraud but her family reported that she was acting in a completely normal fashion and rarely left her parents.  She did not go out at night nor did she ever express a desire to return to her old friend.   I began to wonder how this miraculous change had taken place.  I could not recall ever dealing with someone that had used so much cocaine so intensely and yet was now completely free from all use for over six months.   I am sure it happens; I just had never seen it in my handling well over a thousand drug cases over 17 years. 

I was more than curious so I sat the family down to discuss the change.  The father explained that they did not know what to do with such a dramatic problem and the only thing they had going for them were the conversations we had had together in our attorney meetings.  Apparently I had suggested at some point that they do their best to fill her time as much as possible to help in the initially days she was home and in a state of detox.   This is not an uncommon suggestion with the goal being to just try and get to the very next day without a drug encounter.  Apparently they took this comment to heart and to the extreme.  They filled all her time, every day all day.   They went to breakfast together, they went to the stores together, they went to movies, and to Disneyland (many times).    They walked on the beach and exercised every day.  There was no free time.  Somehow that seemed to be the magic bullet.  Because she never went back to her drug use. 

At first I thought myself clever with such a successful solution.  However, honest evaluation revealed something else.   It was this family’s attention, commitment and love for their daughter that saved her.  It was this girl’s willingness to be loved that saved her.   The criminal case was solved favorably and she has never returned to drug use again.  They thank me from time to time but I realize I was simply the guy in the chair. 

Drug addiction is a true challenge, a scourge that ravishes lives.  But every once in awhile a miracle happens and if you are lucky you get to be a very small part of it.